Bullying Part II: My Story, My Message

Previously, I had asked you guys to kind of think about your bullying experiences and I also told you that in this one, Part II, I would tell you guys about my own bullying experiences. 

And this post is actually in perfect timing, you see, tomorrow I graduate, so before I graduate from grade school, I get to reminisce about the worst part of it. Yay!

Anyway, seriousness.

     What if I told you guys that I was a bully? Would you hate me?

In my opinion, everyone is a bully at one point or another, even if it’s for a second. But still, even though it was for a quick second, you were a bully to that person, and they will forever remember you that way until you make things right. Even then, there will always be that little tug at their heart every time they hear about you, see you, talk to you, etc.

     But who knows, I might just be saying all of this to cover my own skin for being a bully. No, I didn’t shove kids into lockers or steal their lunch money, but I was a mental bully.

Back in 8^th grade, my “gang” and I weren’t the nicest of people, but we had the potential to be. We constantly called each other names and picked on each other saying things like,

“No, you retard, that’s not how you do the problem.”

“Dude, if you cry, I’m seriously gonna laugh.”

“What is she doing? She’s so weird. I seriously hate her.”

“Nerd.”

“Stupid.”

And the list goes on.

     Now, this next part is gonna sound like I’m making excuses for the way we were acting towards each other and the other classmates, and, well, that’s because I am. You see, none of us wanted to be at the school were attending. We were all stripped from our friends and our previous schools. We hated everything that was going on and the way we dealt with it was by letting out our anger on others.

Well, that was my reason, at least.

     What amazes me, is that literally everyone that we were mean to or ignored, are still friends with us. They love us, even. Why? We never asked for forgiveness, so why did they forgive us?

Seriously guys, I couldn’t say it enough, God is so good.

There I was sitting at my desk, ignoring the teacher and spitting spit-balls at the walls and at other kids, and I never even thought of the possibility that I would be leading these very kids in worship, prayer, and their everyday walk through the hardships of life.

All of those sexual jokes, mean taunts, disrespect towards the teachers, everything, it’s like all of it was forgotten – forgiven. I am literally on the verge of tears while writing this. God is so good.

I have no right to say this, but bullying sucks. Bullies suck.

I suck.

I just want to take a moment to apologize to everyone that I wronged, knowingly or not.

     I am sorry for everything I said to you that made you feel worthless. That made you cry. That made you hate me. I am sorry for taunting you, picking on you, pulling pranks on you. I apologize for ignoring you; making you feel like an outcast. I am sorry for the name I called you, for laughing at your embarrassing moments. I am sorry for not accepting you; whether I was jealous of you or not.

     Teachers, I apologize for not respecting you as an authority. I am sorry that I said things behind your back. I am sorry that I despised you for no reason other than the fact that you were an authority. I am sorry for my rebellious heart, which I am currently working on.

     God, I am sorry I didn’t bring you glory. I apologize for all of the unholy things that came out of my mouth and the acts I did. I am sorry for the moments I hated you, because of the situations you put me through.

“Take me away

I can’t take another day

Please, don’t make me stay

Take me away

“Reach out your hand

Make me understand

Why I went so far

I must know where you are

….

“There must be hope, just learning the ropes

I’m still here today, I must find a way

Break out of this cage, with all of my rage

I can’t comprehend, I’m sinking again

“Can’t see through the ice, I’m fighting my lies

I’m drowning again, is this the end?

I want a new start, need you as a part

My smile never lasts, it’s now or the past

….

“I need to stay strong, I must carry on

I’m trapped in a shell, surrounded by hell

I’m lost in the dark, you are my spark

I’m begging you dear, please find me here”

(Oceans By Marry Me, Ocean  - Metal)

American's Hate Japan

Do American’s hate the Japanese?

     Nah ya’ll, I’m just playing. But seriously. Do we?

I mean, let’s talk about this for a moment. I feel like anything and everything that has to do with the Japanese culture, American’s brand it as stupid.

     For example, my dad and I will reminisce about the good ol’ days when our favorite shows were Hannah Montana, The Spectacular Spiderman, and that 90’s X-Men show. (Both of those last ones are Cartoons, for your information.) But the moment my brother and I start talking about how we used to love Bakugan Brawlers and how we are mad that our parents never let us watch Pokémon (because it was “evil”), we are suddenly super lame for watching those ‘cartoons’.

     What makes Anime lame and not The Simpsons?? People say that Anime is for children, and then they go and watch Frozen ten thousand times. I am so confused. If you think that Anime is for children, I want you to go watch the first episode of Death Parade (Hulu Plus), Attack on Titan (Netflix), or even Psycho Pass (Netflix). After you watch those and you still think that all Anime is for children, I would really like to know how you grew up or what you’re smoking.

Okay, enough with Anime, cause I could literally go on all day.

     I get a lot of people don’t like comic books and most people think that they are lame. But I feel like even people who dislike comics, think that Manga is even worse. Why, because it’s read from right to left and that’s not American? Neither are most of those British and Australian actors you like.

     I recall watching this amazing show called “The Andy Griffith Show”, which everyone should know what that is, because it’s amazingly hilarious. Anywho, this is a 60’s show right? Well, in one of the episodes that I was watching, Barney decided that he was gonna take up martial arts. His buddy Andy and basically the whole show  made fun of him and martial arts throughout the whole thing, because that was just weird to fight without a gun in America. Look at us now.

Martial Arts are flippin’ awesome! Don’t think so? Need statistical proof?

“Somewhere around 18.1 million Americans participated in karate or some other form of martial art at least once in the past year? That includes 9.4 million adults, 5.5 million teenagers, and 3.2 million kids.” ~ Said some random Martial Arts article I found on Google.

Plus, who doesn’t want to be a samari, or even better, a freakin’ Jedi, which are basically “space samari.” According to my brother.

This last one I kind of understand, but I’m still gonna rant about it cause it’s my blog, I’m a rebellious adolescent, and I can.

     Awhile ago, I found this amazing Japanese punk band that was seriously just amazing! (ONE OK ROCK for those who care. I suggest you listen to their song “Deeper Deeper” first.) Guess what, I got crap for listening to Japanese punk, causing me to be all music-conscious. Just because it was Japanese, they instantly “knew” that it was weird before they even listened to it. Let me tell you this, those who listened to it, thought that it was absolutely spectacular; even people who aren’t really even into punk music.

Yeah people, it’s that good. You should really check it out. Like now. I really wouldn’t mind if you guys exited out of my blog right now and listened to this band, it’s totally worth it.

Well, that’s all for my rant folks, for now. Never know, Pro-Japan Korrie might make her way back to the blog world.

     So next time you start thinking negative thoughts about anything that was made in or originated from a different country other than America, give it a chance. You might find something that you totally enjoy!

Peace out my homies! Stay radish.